I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize