He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
