the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
