I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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