I think scott just propositioned me for sex
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
