You just made me feel so damn special
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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