dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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