I just made out with a guy for $7.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
