haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
where are my eyebrows?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
