Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
