I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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