And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
