And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
