Whod you bang
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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