As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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