I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
COCAINE IS GR8
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
