"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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