I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
