Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
