somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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