Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
