White coat. Heels.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
