I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
