Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
