What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
