addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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