she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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