You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
