After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
