Is it because I queefed?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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