five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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