I'm gonna have a badass scar
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
