is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
