bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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