I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
