Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Terrible idea I love it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
