My brain says no but my pants say off.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have fence marks all over my body
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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