i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
