lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize