The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
