i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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