I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
