Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
