8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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