Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is Oprah even human
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
