it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
