I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
