is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
