Michael Bay diarrhea
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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