the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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