Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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