Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
