That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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