Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
