I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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