um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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