how can u be prego again
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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